


How to decide between two cakes

by Nenchen



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Assumptions, Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Aziraphale is Not Oblivious (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a Little Shit (Good Omens), Baked Goods, Bakery, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Flirting (Good Omens), Gossip, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, POV Outsider, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Post-Apocalypse, With delicious descriptions, or are they, or are they?, yeah i know this tag is out of order i added it on bc i forgot about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27214084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nenchen/pseuds/Nenchen
Summary: Mr. Fell is a regular customer at the bakery Theodore is working at. His assumed spouse, "Mr. Classic" too. Today, however, is the first time both of them have come in together.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 251





	How to decide between two cakes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VirtualCarrot (Kaoro)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoro/gifts).



> Wrote this as bribery for Carrot but I like it a lot, so here you go!

It had not been the best day so far for Theodore. Wrong orders, moody customers and starting at 6 am after a night of consoling a friend would do anyone in. However, there was hope for their day yet, as Soho’s personal ray of sunshine entered the coffee shop. 

Mr. Fell, eccentric bookshop owner and both the worst person to talk about tea with but also the most generous tipper, had been coming into their bakery for years now. Theodore remembered the first time they'd been allowed to make his tea - after five years of working here. But also, Mr. Fell hadn't once been truly unpleasant, except to that fellow who'd threatened Theo when he'd noticed their rainbow badge. At his side, which was unusual, was his spouse, only known to the neighbourhood as Mr. Classic (for his car). A lot of people in the neighbourhood talked about him in a scandalized, yet greedy for more scandals way. Too flashy, too dark, and did you see he had a tattoo?

Theodore only rolled their eyes at this kind of gossip. The man often stopped by without Mr. Fell and always got things that were obviously for Mr. Fell, and he always overindulged. His tips were almost as generous as Mr. Fell's after he'd noticed the extra care Theo took to make sure everything looked nice and presentable.

And now, Theodore thought, no one could deny they were a lovely couple standing together like this. Sure, they were so different in clothing and posture and so much more, but there was an air of familiarity that couldn't be denied. They fit together like two odd puzzle pieces, each at the border of a different motif.

When they reached the till, Theo had Mr. Fell's drink order ready, and a box set out for some pastries. They handed over the cup of scalding hot tea.

"Welcome again, Mr. Fell. What would you like today?"

As per usual, Mr. Fell could barely contain his excitement and had no troubles filling up the box (which was 12 pieces of pastry). When it came to the last one, however, he dithered, having to decide between a classic chocolate Gâteau and one of their new creations, a delicate half- sphere of mango mousse on airy coconut cake. Theo themself had awoken from a dream a few nights back, salivating, because they'd dreamed of its topper: A white chocolate truffle with dried mango. They truly could understand the dilemma Mr. Fell found himself in. They doubted the customers in the line behind them that steadily got longer would, though.  
Resolute and with their best customer service smile they tried to solve the problem.

"Well, which one would your spouse prefer?"

They regretted the words as soon as they left their mouth, since both of their heads snapped up to stare at them immediately. After a tense moment, Mr. Classic began to wheeze.

"Ahahaha, angel. They think we're a couple."

Not even Mr. Fell's narrow-eyed stare could stop his giggling, like a child on way too much sugar. He was chortling so hard Theo feared he could hack out a lung.

"Ah, come on. That's hilarious. Of course people peg you for married or something."

"Yes, very amusing, Crowley. Especially since this is obviously your fault."

The laughter stopped abruptly.

"My fault? Do I look like I'm in a long term relationship?" Mr. Classic, or Crowley as apparently was his name, said indignantly.

"Not necessarily-" Mr. Fell started in his matter-of-fact tone he always used when someone made the mistake to give him a chance to debate about tea. "-but I think it should have been fairly obvious how often you get me pastries here."

Mr. Crowley hummed, considering, but Mr. Fell was not done yet.

"You are also the one who takes me to lunch, and dinner and sometimes breakfast. And to the museum, to the park and to the Ritz."

Theo absent-mindedly thought that Mr. Fell must have been more eccentric than they'd thought, to mention the Ritz so casually.

"You are also the one who offered me a ride, and I cite, 'anywhere I want to go'-"

Here, Mr. Crowley made a valiant effort to interrupt his argument.

"Well THEY don't know that! That was way back!"

Mr. Fell soldiered on, unimpressed.

"-and you made good on that."

Mr. Crowley was squirming and making some aborted noises. Theo was reminded of a kettle.

"And-" Mr. Fell now held his companions eyes, the grin on his face telling how sure he was of victory. "-you are the one using a pet name."

Theo had the distinct impression that Mr. Crowley was blushing intensely, even though the colour of his face did not change in the slightest. They stared at each other for almost a full five seconds until Crowley broke away, turning back to the counter.

"Alright then, couple. He'll take the mango one. Trying something new. And put the Gâteau in another box, I'll take that one."

It was hard to say, especially next to Mr. Fell's absolutely radiant beam. But as they turned to leave, Theo would swear they saw the corners of Mr. Crowley's scowl lift just the tiniest bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Turns out the best way to decide between two cakes is don't.
> 
> Feel free to tell me about spelling errors, grammar errors and britpick. 
> 
> Come visit my tumblr at [goodduckingomens](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goodduckingomens).  
> Comments and Kudos very much motivate me, so please leave some if you had fun! Keysmash comments appreaciated for the true Crowleys out there.


End file.
